In a selfless gesture that is certain to cement her reputation as one of the world's loudest singers of contemporary pop ballads, the Canadian superstar Celine Dion has announced that she will be donating all the electricity from her forthcoming Johannesburg concert to the national electricity grid.
Moved by the plight of millions of electrically-disadvantaged South Africans, who have been advised by Government Ministers to turn off their lights and go to bed early, Ms Dion said she would not use a microphone at all during her concert, which will feature a selection of her best-known hits, including the blockbuster theme from Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On and On and On and On and On and On and On".
Ms Dion's 42-piece backing band will also not plug in their instruments for the duration of the show, but since no-one has ever been able to hear them over her relentlessly histrionic vocals, the overall sound of her performance is not expected to be adversely affected in any way.
Ms Dion will perform in complete darkness during the concert, except for the flickering flames of thousands of Bic lighters and paraffin lamps held aloft by her adoring fans.
Her gesture, the first of its kind by a major touring pop star, will bring some much-needed respite to home-owners in the vicinity of the concert venue, allowing them to run their washing-machines, boil some water for tea, and turn up the volume on their TV sets in a desperate bid to drown out the sound of Celine Dion's interminably blaring voice.
The show is scheduled to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on at the Northgate Dome on February 14.
